can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
