wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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