Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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