he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
