And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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