They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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