he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
