i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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