The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
