actually, I'm a sock model
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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