So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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