How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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