Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
