Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
