hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dear god my vagina.
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