would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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