Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
