So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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