did you get engaged???
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
