Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My life is pants optional.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
