I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
