Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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