Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I could fuck to npr.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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