we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
