Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
