Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
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I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize