one two three fourrrrnication!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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