i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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