So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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