seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
