Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
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similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?