I accidentally burped into my bong.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize