im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
