No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I got inside last night via doggy door
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
