why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
