it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
