im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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