Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
