Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
