Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
