I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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