I got chris browned last night
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
