$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
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Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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