We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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