I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
operation have a gay friend backfired
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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