you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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