Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
