I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
