I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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