One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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