Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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