So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
