I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
