If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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