that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
