I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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